What Did You Just Phucking Say?

When you are in a country where you don't speak the language at all, your subconscious mind is constantly scanning for meaning in the language and picking out the bits you might know in English or French from the million threads of speech you hear a day. It's remarkable how often you can pick English out in a crowd - but sometimes the brain gets it all wrong. The most common way I have experienced this is with song lyrics. Whole phrases will suddenly stand out - proudly propelled up from the subconscious by my brain after some swift decoding. At first it is English! Well done brain. Then your more rational analytical mind scans over what you think you've just heard sung in a song and points out it's gibberish, often filthy filthy gibberish.

Here are some of the real ones I've heard so far - I've noted them in order as I heard them.

"dirty tam tam"

"Dispenser out of marmite"

"Runny camel toe". This is one i keep hearing over and over in one popular refrain. I think it must mean 'I love you' in Thai.

"I got taken by a combine harvester"

"The sudden gagging to rule St Peter"

"Milky Cobra teeth"

"Take your virgina macaroni with you [this was a duet]
The whole thing is a bit like aural ink blot tests - which maybe says quite a bit about me?

Please tell me it's not just me that hears filth abroad....